


So This is Christmas

by bluefay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Angst, Christmas Tree, Driving, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Pregnant Lily Evans Potter, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefay/pseuds/bluefay
Summary: A fun day filled with Christmas tree shopping quickly turns dark when Remus begins to think about the war.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: Wolfstar Winter Wonderland Challenge 2020





	So This is Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be happy, and yet here we are.
> 
> Have a little wolfstar Christmas angst <3

Remus stared at the six-foot tall Christmas tree poking out of the retracted roof of Sirius’ cherry red Volkswagen convertible, rather perplexed at how they were going to manage driving home to their shabby flat situated on the outskirts of London.

“Right. Don’t panic,” Sirius said, leaning against the hood of the car as he inspected the tree, which was leaning precariously to the left.

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his bony nose. “Pads, you won’t be able to _see_ out the back because of the bloody tree. I saw a payphone down the road. Want me to call James and see if he can bring Lily’s Honda over?”

“No, no,” Sirius said dismissively. “Her pile of shit won’t be any better than ours. Plus, it’s only twenty minutes home. Surely we’ll be fine.”

Remus winced at the lack of confidence in Sirius’ voice and let out a heavy sigh, looking around. The Christmas tree farm sat behind them, Frank Sinatra’s voice blasting through the vintage speakers that should have been replaced at least a decade ago. Several passersby stopped to stare at their Volkswagen, all of them marveling at the awkwardly placed tree as they shifted their shopping bags from side-to-side.

“Oi! Nothing to see here!” Sirius said haughtily, shooing the fascinated onlookers away before turning to Remus. “Listen, Moony, why don’t you sit in the back with the tree? That way you can squish the branches over, and I’ll be able to see.”

“Yeah,” Remus said hesitantly, frowning at the car. “I guess.”

Sirius walked around to the side of the car, opening up the right door for Remus. Sliding into the car proved to be more difficult than expected. After a failed attempt that ended with a mouthful of pine needles, Remus got out and launched himself into the backseat in the hopes that some sort of momentum would help him shove the Christmas tree to one side.

After five more minutes of wrangling with the tree, Remus finally managed to finagle his way into a position that wasn’t massively uncomfortable. As Sirius slid into the driver’s seat, he winked at Remus in the rearview mirror before buckling himself in, sending a deep flush down Remus’ neck.

Snow came down hard as Sirius navigated his way onto the slick, icy road, and he turned the windshield wipers on. Despite being early afternoon, the sky was dark with pewter colored clouds, and there was a strong wind blowing from the north that shook the car from side-to-side as they merged into traffic.

Once they reached the first stop sign, Sirius hurriedly switched on the radio, which was playing Elvis’ rendition of _Silver Bells_ , and handed Remus his to-go mug filled with peppermint hot chocolate.

“ _Silver bells,_ ” Sirius bellowed, his voice unnaturally deep, “ _silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the city._ C’mon, Moony!”

Rolling his eyes, Remus reluctantly joined in. “ _Ring-a-ling._ ”

“ _Ring-a-ling!_ ” Sirius added with a laugh.

“ _Hear them ring._ ”

“ _Hear them ring!_ ”

Then, together, they sang, “ _soon it will be Christmas day!_ ”

As the car’s radio crackled with gusto, they slowly made their way out of inner London. Damp streets full of shoppers were soon exchanged for quiet, deserted roads. Remus’s muscles were beginning to tire from leaning all of his weight into the tree, although he was still managing to have a nice time.

He and Sirius had decided in early November that the tree would have to go up on the 1st of December. Since it was their first Christmas together as a couple, they wanted to ensure that a month long celebration filled with proper decorations would ensue. However, having only been out of Hogwarts for three years, both of them were still trying to find their footing in the real world, and they were struggling to scrounge up enough money from Remus’ job at a local bookstore and Sirius’ part-time work as a mechanic’s assistant for presents. After going over November’s bills, they’d come to the conclusion that they would simply forgo presents and instead pull money for a nice, decent tree.

_Nice tree, my arse,_ Remus thought to himself, glaring bitterly at the pine needles that were poking him in the cheek. _We should’ve gone for the bloody presents._

Once out of the city, Sirius turned onto the familiar country road that would give them a clear shot to their flat. To the right was a row of large silver birch trees, and behind them sat a weathered farmhouse with an expansive front garden, its bushes of red roses kissed with snow. Remus often thought about that house, wondering what it would be like to grow up and old with Sirius in such a place ― freedom for Padfoot to roam, space to raise a child, a pasture for those hairy cows that Sirius had a mild obsession with, rooms filled with music and laughter that would supply Remus with a lifetime of happy memories.

Then, as the music shifted and John Lennon’s _Happy Christmas (War is Over)_ came on, Remus’ thoughts turned to things more sinister.

Looking out of the window, Remus swore he could see, if only for a moment, the silhouette of the Dark Mark flickering across the clouds. Panic began to build in his throat, and his chest tightened. As he desperately searched for any remaining sign of the skull and serpent, he realized that it didn’t matter if it was there or not.

These days, Voldemort was everywhere.

Remus thought back on the moment when James and Lily had told them they were expecting a few days ago. Despite having only been at the four week mark, Lily had explained that she couldn’t go another eleven weeks without her closest friends knowing ― not during the war, anyway. As the news had been broken and Remus and Sirius had congratulated them, they had all failed to address the elephant in the room.

With Death Eaters running rampant through the streets and the number of deaths going up by the weeks, it was quite possible that no one ― not Remus, Sirius, Lily, James, or their unborn child ― would make it to the due date.

It was as though they were all living in a strange limbo, mourning those beside them as though they’d already died.

“Hey, Moony?”

Remus blinked, looking up to see Sirius staring at him through the rearview window.

“You alright?” Sirius asked.

Remus swallowed hard, asking softly, “are we going to be alright, Sirius?”

Sirius paused, his grey eyes flickering with uncertainty. “We’ll be fine, love. I promise.”


End file.
